Home Non-IT contents only Funny & Hillarious Hate someone? Hire HITMAN - Professional killing service
Hate someone? Hire HITMAN - Professional killing service PDF Print E-mail
 
Written by Kar Hoe   
Saturday, 28 February 2009 12:50
Enough of talking to them, enough of bearing with their attitudes, ENOUGH ! When thing goes uncontrollable, just open up the browser and hire HITMAN, the professional killing service. The more you pay, the more chances of the death being considered as sudden death instead of murder. Of course, I have not heard of them using C4 yet.
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HITMAN offers a variety of assassination services and contract killing options. We are the industry leader in innovative killing techniques and manage a network of freelance assassins on five continents, available on short notice, around the clock. Next time you have a problem, remember: our contract killers are waiting for your call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
These are some of the testimonials from their satisfied customers.
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I know it's not 1st of April yet, but before hiring, don't forget to read the disclaimer. It's only 50,000USD, but hey if you are talking about wiping someone from the face of this earth permanently, it's worth it.
 
 
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Comments (11)
  • I Lewus
    I need a service contract on killing of six or seven men on a rape charge that did not go to jail
  • myob  - Contract Service Available
    1/Location of these Men?
    2/Who did the rape?
    3/Leave contact here and I will respond
  • karhoe
    i'm sorry, i don't offer that, the website is merely a parody

    Do believe that they may escape from punishment now, but they will face the wrath of God someday later.
  • rose louise  - mrs


    hello

    could u pls tell me if u do contact killing i met a guy on tagget he said he was from america living in UK.he told me he really liked me and with in 2 months of talking he said he really wanted to be with me he said his wife died in a car accident and he wanted true love but he was lieing about everything he took me for a fool 4 £8000 pounds he said he needed the money for his business as becos of the credit crunch he could loose every thing he ask if i could lend him the money which i did cos i thought he be honest but he wasn't he was a black nigerian posing as a white american the reason y i leat him cos he was so convinceing but he was deceiving me and lieing to me i WANT HIM DEAD!! he used to say trust me i love u i would never do nothing to hurt u ever i swear on my daughters like and a stack of Bibles loads of other things he said as well as u can imagine im a good person but i wont have no one on this planet earth hurt & conned me no more i had it done too me...
  • karhoe
    Hi there,

    I hope you don't take it too seriously, the whole website was a parody
  • David Winter  - Killing avoidance required.
    I'm not so much interested in having someone killed. Rather trying to avoid being killed myself. All I want to do is tell the world what has happened to me (commercially mostly) at the hands of an unscrupulous Nigerian indigenous company, and EVERYONE thinks that is licence for me to be bumbed off. Are these leaders that I'm going to shame so sensitive as not to be able to take a bit od criticism?
  • Anonymous
    :idea: :( ;)) :) :sleep: :sleep: :D :angry: :angry-red: :) :angry: :D :angry: :love: :no-comments: :pirate: :ooo: :x :x :x :x :love: :0 : :evil:
  • David hickle  - hirring a hitman
    i am hirring a hitman for my self the job is rape and murder Of me by sex and real life cannibalism
  • DeathMarch  - I need a hit man!!!
    Hi,
    I have a problem I'd like deleted off the face of the planet.

    Background:
    For now, let's call this problem Jodesta. She tried ripping me off twice for a car and a house, has stolen money and personal property off me and has caused property damage. She also put speeding tickets in my name and is recorded against my own traffic history as the police couldn't find her for them. C-o-n-v-i-e-n-i-e-n-t right?

    To top it off: she has been hacking into my accounts and stalking me for a year and a half and I caught her stalking me four times in real life and is attending my former university :0 .

    This person is a deceitful, back-stabbing, two-facing, lying little son of a bitch and I'd think I'd be doing every one in Australia a favor if I paid for this person to 'go away.'

    I was thinking a 'prescribed drug overdose,' just like her idol: Marilyn Munroe. I don't think police would investigate it because of this persons past history either.
  • SAM
    I WANT TO HIRE SOME ONE TO KILL,ONE GUY STOLLE AL MY MONY ARROUND 500.00 USD,ANF CORTS DOES NOT FINISHED SINCE THREE YEARS AND POLICE DONT DO ANT THING,
    IAM STARTING FROM ZERO,I HAVE ALOT F LOANS I CAN SHUT MY SELF WITH MY BRISTOL ANY TIME,EVERY DAY THINKING OF THIS HE DESTRIOY MY FAMILY , MY WIFE LIFT ME WITH KIDS,
    I WILL APY ANY THING TO FINISH THIS GU ,HE IS IN ALBERTA CANADA,HAPPY IN HIS LIFE WITH MY MONY.
    IS TART FROM ZERO.
    NO CARS NO HOME NO FAMILY IAM FINISHED BUT BEFORE I KILL MY SELF I WANT TO SOME ONE TO DO THIS JOB FOR ME AS AM OUT OF CANDA AND THEY DONT ALLOWED ME TO GO AGAIN THERE AND MY FAMILY THERE IN DEFERNT STATE,,I BEEN MAD.
    SOME ONE CAN HELP ME?????????
  • altas1@rambler.ru
    Its strange that people take this website as real deal. And even stranger that they can find a contract killer. Even i know the person who has good education, no problems with police, good background in the army and does the work. He is expensive but he is a pro. And it is EASY to find him.
    strange.. strange.. Anyone want to share their story can email me
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Last Updated on Tuesday, 22 September 2009 15:11
 
 

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